So apparently, I’m human.
I can’t always execute all of my high-falutin’ aspirations. Like to make a video for 30 days leading up to Dec 21, 2012. Real life gets busy. Even if my Spark loves to create, to express.
That grand idea came from my PlateSpinner persona. He spins a bunch of plates in the air until he can’t do it anymore, then he drops them. He’s got the seductive smile of a TV game show host, he’s a showman, a performer and a multi-tasker. Thinks he can do it all.
I know him very well. But I don’t always have the wisdom to calm him down.
So the ongoing question to ask my Spark: how can I let him do his thing without running me ragged? How can I allow that creative impulse, without the grandiose schemes that sound good at the time, but are really too much to implement?
The bigger question: how to balance the needs of my Spark, which is simple (love, love, love) and all my inner characters (make money, keep things tidy, keep learning, make new friends and keep the old, do what I say I will do, go out exploring, tell stories, make visionary artwork, help others grow into themselves, go dancing, strut my stuff?)
What I need is an inner leader, a manager, a chairman of the board. Queen of my domain.
Someone I can trust to rule, not with an iron hand, as with steely discipline I’ve leaned on in the past, but to check in with. Someone I can ask, hey, is this something we can ALL agree to?
I know she’s in here, just waiting to be asked.