Ok, first let’s agree. Each of us has both masculine and feminine qualities, right?
- Masculine: Dominant. Outward. Concrete. Competitive. Wanting success. Values Self.
- Feminine: Receptive. Wants to be loved and to belong. To connect. Values Others.
We’re in a shift, globally and individually. It’s time to find the sacred balance, or marriage, of these energies. Unite them. Stop arguing over the small stuff and move on.
A key question for a midlife shifter is: What does that look like for me? How does it feel?
It won’t look grey, like the two sides of the yin yang spinning fast. It may not be an even balance between the two. One person said, “Perhaps it will be an opening, a space between.” I like that.
I grew up smack in the middle of the war between the sexes. On my feminine side, the ancestry coming down from my mother, I’ve always felt a pressure to always serve others. Because I’m female, I was taught that Service is the premium virtue. To put others first.
But I wasn’t particularly nurturing, or “good” at the female values. When partner dancing, I have a hard time following. My energy is not soft/receptive; I’m more forceful/strong. Both of my kids’ dads are better at child rearing. I’ve always felt some confusion and guilt about that. Time to get over it.
My masculine side has always been more dominant. It’s the drive to make a mark, to create something of enduring value: artwork, novels, songs. The mother side within me judges that ambition as selfish. Bad. Yet these are real passions. Valuable. This is ok.
Now at midlife, I’ve felt a real calling to serve others. That my work is not about expressing myself. It’s actually more like carrying spiritual water or bearing fruit to feed the community.
This feels good, but sometimes confuses my gorgeous little ego. How do I do that? Make stuff (masculine) and serve it (feminine)?
I’ve done a lot of work with these two lately, and it’s really helped. The answer came yesterday in my delicious morning ritual: To serve ALL.
Serving ALL means I can serve others, and my own creative calling, at the SAME TIME.
It’s a real victory, this. A win-win. A collaboration that works. Yay! I feel the clarity to move forward with more balance, grace and power.
I wish the same for you.
Do you ever feel conflict between these two sides of your nature? Notice whether you hear an inner critic that sounds like a mother or a father. Listen for a tone of judgement about “crossing over” into territory of the other gender. Noticing is a huge step toward win-win.